Suffering arises from our desire for life to be different from what it is, rooted in the belief that a separate self controls and manages our actions and reactions. Awakening is a process of undoing these ingrained beliefs and opening up to the truth of how life really flows—effortlessly, without need for control. In other words, we are completely helpless, which might sound unsettling, but it’s actually incredibly liberating when we realize the freedom that comes with letting go of the illusion of control and doership. When I share my experience on the path of liberation, we explore this process in a few distinct, yet interconnected phases. While there is certainly a sense of linearity in moving toward full liberation, the stages described below can overlap.
The key is to approach the process with openness and curiosity, without attachment to a specific outcome or state. It’s common to have expectation, but we should be mindful about and not overwhelmed by them. Trust your unique journey, and don’t feel overwhelmed by the stages described below. They serve as a roadmap—important to acknowledge, but also to hold lightly as you navigate your own unfolding.
Phase 1: Letting Go of Free Will, Control, and Doership
The first step involves familiarizing ourselves with the complexity of awakening while aiming for an initial experiential insight. This shift can manifest in various ways, but it’s crucial that there’s no doubt about the reality of awakening itself after that. This is what the insight shall be about. It must provide a true taste of what awakening and liberation mean. A common initial unfolding is the dismantling of deeply ingrained beliefs about free will, control, and the notion of a ‘doer’ or ‘thinker,’ which create a false sense of self as the center of all actions. The “selfing” process is centered around the assumption: “I control my actions. I make decisions. I choose to do things in a certain way.”
As we begin to loosen these beliefs, the realization dawns that life happens on its own—naturally, beautifully, and effortlessly. There is no need for a central “self” to manage or control it. This initial glimpse is often profound and is the key to accessing a deeper sense of ease and flow in life. The truth becomes more than just a concept—it’s directly experienced. However, this realization is often fleeting and requires further exploration and embodiment. The key is to let go of this experience, allowing space for fresh and authentic shifts to emerge.
Phase 2: Releasing Resistance and Learning to Accept
The next aspect addresses the mental and emotional resistance that prevents us from fully experiencing life. Often, our judgments, reactions, and emotional blockages create unnecessary tension, distorting the simplicity of what is happening in the present moment.
Together, we explore these resistance patterns and soften emotional reactivity, allowing us to approach life with openness and curiosity. This phase helps you discover how to move through life without struggle or strain. You’ll begin to see that your reactions are automatic and not driven by a personal “you.” This shift brings a greater sense of clarity and peace as you realize that emotions and thoughts no longer control you.
Phase 3: Seeing Through the Illusion of Ownership and Agency
As we move deeper, we dive into the nature of existence. Even after glimpsing the truth that the “doer” and sense of control are illusions, a subtle feeling of ownership and a sense of some-thing experiencing life may still persist over your experiences—such as sights, sounds, and sensations.
This lingering illusion keeps the false sense of self alive. In this phase, we work to fully realize that there is no “owner” of experience. As this understanding deepens, you will come to see the truth of anatta, the Buddhist teaching that life flows without a personal self at its core. In the seen, there is simply the visual field. The sense of agency fades, and life begins to unfold in its pure, effortless flow. It feels unlike anything you’ve ever known—beyond comparison. At this point, living takes on a new meaning, from a place free of the boundaries that separation, thoughts, beliefs, and ego once created.
While this may feel like the end of something, a new unfolding begins—one centered on fully realizing the nature of ignorance, which is the inability to recognize the mind’s true function and a fundamental denial and missunderstanding of our existence. From here, we dive deeply into this realization, with a sense of clarity and confidence like we never have before.
Curiosity and Intuition as Guides
This above is the framework I use to share through the awakening process. However, remember that awakening is not a fixed journey, and it unfolds differently for each person. The key lies in your curiosity and trust in your own intuition. My role is to ignite that curiosity and encourage you to trust your intuition, which will be your greatest asset along the way.