What is Awakening (Truly) About?

While there are many paths to realization and liberation, most of them boil down to one key discovery: understanding how the mind truly works. Put simply, awakening is about seeing and FULLY grasping how the mind operates alongside with shedding all identifications with it. But this isn’t something that happens overnight—it takes time because the brain is wired in complex ways. These neural patterns create a convincing story that there’s a “someone” behind it all—a doer, a thinker, a feeler. This sense of “self” is tightly woven into a web of beliefs, our senses, emotions, that hold the illusion in place.

Before I began this process, like many others, I never thought to question the mind in this way. I simply accepted my thoughts as “me.” It was second nature—automatic. It never once occurred to me to ask whether this was true. But once the awakening begins, things change. We start to reevaluate this belief and approach thoughts from a new angle. Curiosity kicks in: Where do thoughts come from? How do they rise up, and where do they go? One of the first realizations is that we don’t control our thoughts—they just show up and disappear on their own. No matter how hard we try, we can’t stop them. With some careful attention, it becomes clear that the idea of control is an illusion, just smoke and mirrors. As this illusion starts to crumble, everything—inside and out—begins to look and feel different.

As we move further along this journey of awakening, what we’re really doing is further getting to know the mind from the inside out. Even when we allow ourselves to fully feel emotions, we’re still working with the mind because emotions tied to suffering are often rooted in deeply held beliefs. We begin to question these beliefs, see through them, and, ultimately, free ourselves from the grip they have on us. When this happens, it’s as if a weight is lifted—thoughts begin to quiet down, especially those that fuel our suffering. The emotions that once kept the body tense and constricted seem to dissolve. It becomes clear that the power of thoughts lies largely in our automatic reactions to them. It’s this reactivity that fuels the engine of thoughts, and ultimately, our suffering.

Eventually, we’re struck by the realization that LITERALLY everything we took so seriously was just a game of the mind—ideas stacked on top of more ideas. Even the sense of “me,” the personality we’ve held onto for so long, is revealed to be nothing more than a fleeting thought, a mirage reflecting back what we perceive in the moment—what we’ve come to call “reality.”

At this point, the bigger picture starts to emerge. It turns out that our brains aren’t designed to experience reality as it is. And thoughts? They’re not equipped to grasp the true nature of reality either. Even the very concept of “reality” becomes foggy, as we realize we don’t need it to explain the unexplainable. Slowly but surely, we begin to see directly that the senses belong to no one. Everything starts to slow down and fall away. The mind grows quiet. There’s no longer a sense of separation, nor a sense of non-separation either. No duality to be found. Language becomes absolutely not equipped to capture what can be only directly experienced. Thoughts about the world around us are still present, but that’s all they are—just passing thoughts. Like a fleeting image unrelated to anything specific, like a stranger passing by. They may come and go, but they’ve lost their dance partner—and they won’t be finding it again.

Are There Stages of Awakening?

One of most powerful descriptions of awakening is the 10 Ox-herding drawings depicted in Zen Buddhism. It shows the process in stages, and my experience deeply resembles the description. While there might be a more of a sudden insight into awakening, where all identificaiton with the mind cease, the clarity, wisdom, and freedom that come with it often unfold slowly, like peeling back layers of an onion. For most of us it starts with a glimpse into the emptiness behind all things. You might get a taste of—but not entirely realize—that there’s no “self” running the show; life just flows.

Yet, even with this insight, the feeling of having a separate self often lingers. It’s important to remember that these initial insights are just experiences that come and go. Allow them to run their course, letting fresh and authentic insights arise. Real freedom isn’t about collecting cool spiritual experiences; it’s about FULLY recognizing that there’s nothing beyond this moment, and within this moment, no-thing is running the show.

As you go deeper, you might have more glimpses of this emptiness, slipping into a space where you feel totally connected and open. You might think, “Wow, I’ve made it!” But the journey continues. The sense of “I AM” might still persist, giving you the feeling that there’s a watcher observing all these experiences. The key is to stay curious and keep exploring. Eventually, you may notice that there’s no one behind the scenes pulling the strings at all—things just happen effortlessly.

As you dive deeper, even the faintest sense of a separate “I AM” can fade away. You might reach a point where everything feels boundless and free, with no need to label or explain anything. The identification with how the mind operates dissolves. When thoughts are seen as just thoughts, entirely unpredictable and without ownership—this is where the real magic happens.

You start to realize that there’s no beginning and no end, just a continuous flow. No time, no space, no separation, no non-separation. Only a dynamic aliveness, with no center, seer or experiencer. In the seen, there is only what is seen. Clarity and wisdom grow, and the noise in your head quiets down. Not only are you no longer tied to those old thoughts, but you might find that they don’t even appear anymore. It’s like closing one book and starting a fresh, new story.

While speaking in stages can be counterproductive, there is definitely some sort of linearity when it comes to moving toward liberation. We dismantle suffering progressively and gradually, and while a sudden shift into the realm of unconditional liberation would certainly be amazing, be prepared to accept that this is a process. However, be mindful not to fall into the trap of thinking too much about stages. Instead of worrying about what stage you’re at, stay open and curious about what’s happening right now, and follow what intuitively feels right for you.

Beliefs and Emotions. What makes us suffer?

In spiritual circles, a recurring question often revolves around whether emotions are to blame for suffering. Are these intense emotions responsible for our distress? The concise answer is no. Emotions themselves are not the root cause of suffering. In reality, what we commonly perceive as negative emotions—such as fear, anxiety, shame, or anger—do not independently arise. Their presence is intricately woven into layers of automatic narratives and deeply entrenched beliefs, triggering the body to generate waves of sensations that engulf us in discomfort or anguish. So, what exactly are these beliefs? Beliefs essentially manifest as thoughts, but they can be distinguished from other fleeting thoughts, as not every passing thought is a belief. So, during the awakening, we work and pay attention to the beliefs that create discomfort, and tensions and generate the identification with the mind and illusionary I.

In general terms, we address beliefs into three distinct types. The first type encompasses beliefs entangled within narratives and images that revolve around the illusory idea of the self. These narratives can consist of various stories that we may have never critically examined. They are often straightforward and easily discernible—essentially any narrative involving the notion of a self in action. The second category of beliefs revolves around the idea that there exists an entity experiencing various emotions, and that these emotions define who we are. Examples include thoughts such as “I am not capable enough to handle my job” or “nobody cares about me.” Identifying with these kind of beliefs generates considerable suffering and triggers emotional responses, underscoring the importance of recognizing them. The third type of beliefs are more subtle in nature, often manifesting non-verbally as ingrained assumptions about the nature of reality. This subtle identification is particularly pronounced in how we perceive our moment-to-moment experiences. For instance, when we engage in the act of seeing or observing the visual field, there is a subtle identification with the body, the eyes, or the imagined self as the source of perception. This phenomenon extends to other sensory modalities such as hearing, taste, smell, and sensations. These beliefs are frequently encountered in deep non-dual states and serve as the primary foundation for the enduring sense of “I am” that persists.

Essentially, thoughts and beliefs themselves are not inherently problematic. It is the identification with them that makes life difficult. In simpler terms, emotions don’t exist independently; they are triggered by the identification with the mind. Recognizing this, we begin to grant space for suffering to be consciously and directly experienced, repeatedly. We dive into the body and all the sensations appearing there. There’s no alternative approach. We permit everything to exist as it is. We exert effort until effortlessness is achieved. Only then will one grasp the meaning of “this is all what it is.”

The Role of Meditation in Awakening

There has been a lot of discussion in spiritual circles about the function of meditation when it comes to approaching awakening. Do we need to meditate to become awakened? Do we need to exert effort, or do we simply need to surrender? Let me be direct and clear: meditation is integral to awakening, provided it’s approached correctly. To that point , it’s essential to clarify what meditation involves and how it should be approached.

  • Meditation is not intended to keep us aware all the time.
  • It is not confined to a cushion but should be integrated into daily life.
  • It is not something that should be approached with grand expectations.

What is meditation, then? It is simply the skill of directing our attention. Instead of being driven by thoughts, meditation allows us to directly see how thoughts and attachments emerge and how we engage them. The essential part of awakening is getting the mind know, and meditation is the key tool in this process, alongside curiosity, intention and openness. In essence, we can meditate anywhere and at any time by gently being aware of the present experience: whether it involves sound, sensation, taste, smell, forms and colors or thought. Meditation doesn’t demand constant awareness! Meditation is exclusively about NOW, and how to get more alert about what is the present moment about. Moreover, it involves resting in the present moment without interference, embracing everything as it is, while maintaining gentle awareness.

When practiced in this manner, meditation, or paying attention, becomes an integral part of the awakening process. It directs the mind towards the actual. Gradually, the mind becomes more alert, more immersed in the present moment. It serves as mental training that grounds us and teaches us how to rest in the present experience. This, in turn, may spark our curiosity about awakening and the no-self nature of reality. And this is exactly what happened to me.

In my journey, meditation emerged as a pivotal catalyst. Initially, I embarked on meditation with no awareness of awakening, enlightenment, or the concept of no-self. My understanding merely grazed the basic tenets of Buddhism and the notion of true nature. Yet, as I delved deeper into meditation, I found myself immersed in longer stretches of natural tranquility and a profound sense of unity with my surroundings. These profound experiences led to further insights and sustained periods of profound peace. These moments inspired me to dig deeper and this is how I discovered awakening, the direct pointing to the no-self reality of our experiences. So I say with no hesitation: I owe everything to the transformative power of meditation.


How It Started – My Journey

Reflecting on how it all began and unfolded, my journey took a significant turn in 2019. At that point, I decided that the way life was unfolding did not make much sense. Something was definitely not right, and there was a prevailing sense that it should be and can be different. The fact that I could not control how I acted and reacted in social situations was causing me so much restlessness. This burden of not having control over life had reached a point of absurdity. It became evident that the prevailing approach to life was flawed, though I lacked the tools to counter it.

One ordinary day, while seated and observing a Buddhist monk share thoughts on meditation, a simple statement resonated deeply within me: “We cannot control our thoughts and emotions,” shared the monk. Reflecting now on this moment, this is probably one of the most profound statements I have encountered. It simply meant there is no control center where thoughts and emotions arise and can be regulated. It was so simple, but I had never approached my inner emotional landscape in that way. I overlooked it for years. Motivated by this insight, I delved further into meditation, spiritual literature, and exploration. Meditation provided glimpses into the seamless nature of reality, often accompanied by profound and lasting peace. So, I knew it was the right path, and I had to simply continue exploring. I discovered that there is such a thing as awakening and enlightenment, where suffering has no place, where I do not exist!

The concept of awakening, particularly the idea of no-self, captivated my imagination. People talking about the dissolution of boundaries between internal and external realms intrigued me immensely. I was completely obsessed with finding the right pointers to discover this nature of no-self and awakening. One day, my quest led me to a book dedicated to direct pointers toward this realization. I started reading it with intense excitement. The pointers were deceptively simple, yet intuitively, there was this knowing that this makes sense. What is interesting, I realized that I had never questioned my direct experience in such a simple manner. I never thought that there is no need for the existence of self for sound to be heard or a thought to arise. This is simply happening.

The next morning, while reflecting on the book’s pointers during a walk, something profound occurred. It felt as though the sky had opened up, releasing a surge of energy from within me. A profound realization dawned: there is no separate-self orchestrating existence; life simply unfolds. Laughter and tears intertwined as the clarity of the realization washed over me. The peace I felt I had never felt before.

In the ensuing hours and days, the sense of agency was not present, leaving behind a profound sense of peace. However, this spiritual honeymoon phase persisted for weeks, gradually receding as familiar patterns of selfing, attachments, and emotional discomfort resurfaced. Yet, I took this as a reminder that there was more to explore and address. Over the following years, I delved deeper into the principles of openness, non-resistance, and allowing all experiences to arise without interference. I scrutinized subtle beliefs that perpetuated the illusion of a separate entity.

Eventually, everything ceased: time, restlessness, and, most significantly, the identification with the mind and stories that created tensions and suffering. Thought is not more than just a thought. The urge to change reality evaporated, replaced by a sense of unconditional freedom, peace, and equanimity. The sense and illusion of separation dissolved, leaving only the directness of the present moment, empty of ego but brimming with life.

Spiritual Bypassing

One of the most common themes we encounter during the awakening process is spiritual bypassing. This refers to the tendency to overlook emotional issues and unresolved traumas, with the hope that insights into emptiness and luminosity will solve everything. However, this is the primary trap on the path to liberation and may prevent further deepening. This becomes evident through conversations with numerous individuals and from my personal experience. Unaddressed emotional baggage can lead to suffering even in the deepest stages of non-duality, emphasizing the importance of confronting unresolved issues to deepen liberation. Without doing so, we remain in a state of unconsciousness and denial, which originally laid the groundwork for various discomfort and suffering.

Only by directing attention to the emotional landscape and beginning to address various narratives and memories, along with their physical expressions within the body, do we truly engage in this transformative process. We learn how the avoidance of negative feelings leads to even more discomfort. We start to embrace more courage and understanding, recognizing that addressing emotional issues is the necessary step towards living a life unaffected by them. Rather than turning a blind eye or resorting to avoidance, we choose openness and compassion towards our experiences.